This past month has been a whirlwind of emotions for me, and it made me think of how much we take for granted and how little we really can control. What do I mean? Well, let me share my experience.

A dear friend of mine, several years, my junior, went in for a surgical procedure that became complicated. Complications occurred because of an underlying connective tissue disease that she has genetically inherited from her mom (who died at the age of 33). So, my friend not only didn’t know her mom but also lived knowing that her life could be cut short any time. I can’t imagine what that must feel like, can you?

Surgical complications led to aggressive measures and ultimately, a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) and Hospice Care in the hospital. She was found to have a bleed that was not able to be controlled. Her family came to say ‘goodbye’ and she transitioned into making peace with death. She controlled as much as she could: no more blood transfusions, no more intravenous lines, no more; she even said ‘good-bye,’ to her sons (age six and 3) and didn’t want them to come to the hospital anymore to avoid torment and fear and loss.

I spoke to some extraordinary people when I heard this was occurring. I asked spiritual healers to pray to the flags hanging on their tree, and to those who know therapeutic touch, transcendental meditation, and other healing techniques, to join me in helping my friend’s spirit make a peaceful journey towards death or rebirth/health whichever was meant to be.

I visited once a week for several times and did my Therapeutic Touch and transcendental energy work every day I was not at her bedside. I secretly prayed for her to live as I was selfish and wanted my friend to be around to share ideas and wisdom with me and others. I was ok in my heart that if she were to take my energy to her death, she would be at peace.

Five weeks after the DNR and watching her say goodbye, her body slowly turned towards healing. Each day, she was getting stronger, not anything familiar to her or us for sure, but in the direction of life, not death. She needed to re-learn how to walk, eat, have body functions do their thing without straining, and even re-learn how to know when she was tired and needed a nap. Her stamina needed to be restored. This restoration would take time, and require rehabilitation physical therapy would be arduous. I recall a comment she made,”what would it be like if I didn’t have a baseline of healthy muscles and activity before all this happened…how would I ever be able to move forward?” So true, we take our health and ability to move about without consideration until we need to build up stamina and strength from ground zero!

After a week in rehabilitation, she was informed she could go home. Now her inner thoughts move to fear of the future. The dread of what will happen if this event occurs again, or a need for surgery, and more passionately, why did she not die?—which would have been the easier of the two solutions.

I am reminded that my mother died twice in her lifetime, ‘saw the light’ and forced herself to return to the living. Not a casual conversation, but an experience I was privileged to encounter. I remember her saying, “ it wasn’t my time…I had too much to do, children to develop; I have things to get done; I wasn’t ready.” I continue to pray for my friend. I hope she finds the joy in life and lets the fear of death waiting for her go to the winds. I hope we can all learn to live in the present, be grateful for what we have. Take nothing for granted, and use my friend’s encounter with life, death, and new life to see that the body’s strength to rebuild is inherent, not technological, and the incredible power of belief and love that is creative. I thank you for listening and learning. Treat your body well. Heal and Love with Peace.