I had the privilege recently to meet a woman newly diagnosed with a terminal illness. She had already gone through radiation therapy and chemotherapy. Following this, a rehabilitation center to regain her strength so she could go back to her home and live independently. She didn’t want to ‘burden’ her children with her daily needs, aware that they are ‘busy’ and ‘working’ more hours than the day is long. I share this with you because it is not an uncommon situation–a terminal diagnosis, weakness post-treatment, rehabilitation, and the desire to stay independent and not ‘ burden family’. The real dilemma– she did not know what to expect next or what to do!
Knowledge is Power
The lack of information and education to the consumer of health services (aka-the patient), impacts everyone who cares about this individual (e.g., family, friends, associates). So, now you have an active independent person who is afraid to ask or say anything, doesn’t know what the next step is or what to anticipate, and emotionally distraught over this lack of clarity.
Emotions Take Over and Life Changes
And family members are angry and feeling guilty, not sure what to do but willingly overcompensate by giving recommendations and taking control of her care at home to ensure safety. And the independent woman now faces a stranger in her home 24 hours/day and doesn’t know what to expect or how to interact with this stranger/new caregiver. Does any of this sound familiar l? Heck, I’d be confused and angry too! Wouldn’t you?
Who will listen?
Who can a person believe when they are in the most vulnerable state of their health? Weak, frail, fearful, and fatigued with every movement. We naturally seek guidance from our physicians. But they don’t always discuss the nuances of what will happen. Sometimes, a person will enter Hospice Care. Maybe, even get a live-in Home Health Aide. Still, who talks to this client? Who is there to listen, hear, respond to the innermost fears and needs? Who is available to offer hope or guidance for engagement in personal therapeutic activities?
We to think about this. It is happening if not in our life; it’s occurring in the presence of someone we know. Anger and fear are not helpful to anyone’s energy. We need to believe in the power of hope and promote the belief that one can stay in control and do things to help themselves stay independent. What would you suggest?
Take back Your Life
I always recommend the following to both patient and friends in this unpredictable situation:
- Take control of your life. Take time to schedule outings.
- Use Home Health Aides to support your energy needs (eg., cooking, bathing support, cleaning, shopping).
- Employ prayer and visualization as often as possible to support your healing efforts.
- Stay active. Walk around the house, step outside and sit for a while if the weather permits soaking up the sunshine.
- Breathe. Deep breathing exercises help your lungs, increase your oxygenation, and helps relaxation.
- Watch funny movies. Laughter boosts endorphins and decreases pain and fear. It promotes healing.
- Avoid sugar and salt. Sugar feeds inflammation. Salt helps retain water retention.
- Eat three to five small meals per day. It sounds like a lot, but if they are fresh, homemade, small, and tasty with spices, your body will appreciate clean and healthy nourishment.
- Think positive. You are in control! Acknowledge your life and express your gratitude for this day.
- Remember, each day is an opportunity to live, breathe, and appreciate life.
- Express yourself. Question what you don’t understand, stay in charge.
Probably the best and most simple advice we can all share and endorse comes from Albert Einstein. He said it best, “ learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow…”
Namaste.
Santa/ November post