By now, everyone is probably tired of saying ‘2021, A New Year….’ But genuinely are happy to leave behind 2020. The year of 2020 offered us an excellent opportunity to see how we fare in periods of great distress, despair, stress management, and how we deal with ourselves when we are alone with ourselves for a long time.

Some people lost loved ones, sight unseen; others protected loved ones by not visiting, and only a phone call. Still others, limited visitors and left love ones, who did not fully comprehend the pandemic, with a loss of social contact “for protective purposes” and safety. Concerns and fears were well warranted based on the limited data and mixed information we were getting from the media and administration at the time.

Unfortunately, there was no insight or guidance on how to console and not isolate the loved ones, who were most likely elderly, to avoid falling into depression, more significant anxiety, and a lesser quality of life. With hopes of a vaccine, the New Year may open the windows of opportunity to change this behavior pattern, but not so quickly. And depression, fear, anxiety, and social isolation does not resolve overnight. So there will need to be a loving and gentle transition when the time comes to promote the return to normalcy.

I saw each day the gains of 2020. It sounds odd, but I did. When alone and isolated, I learned how to sit with myself and be quiet—learning to stop the noise in my head and listen to my inner voice. When I got anxious for ‘no reason,’ I took time to stop and think about what was the cause and, once identified, took the time to analyze it for its value to me—was it mine to control, or someone else putting it on me? If it was mine, and I could handle the situation, I would think of strategies and take action and not carry on worrying about it anymore. If something is in my control, I should control it and not worry about it. If it’s not mine to control, I found myself giving back the issue to the owner in the form of questions back to them to see they need to deal with the issue. It becomes their worry, not mine. This was a great find for me. It came from my silence with me. The less noise in my head, the clearer I can think through things. You may find the same.

I also found it valuable in the 2020 pandemic life because it proved to me how resilient and flexible we could be. I studied resilience in my doctoral program and believed in it from the start. It was hard to explain and more difficult to demonstrate without a crisis. Yet, the pandemic made me more of a believer. I met and have worked with people who had their whole life turned upside down and inside out (not like the movie ‘Inside Out’). After a period of retrospection, thoughtful silence, nurturing, and kindness to oneself, I came back strong and focused and moving ahead towards new goals with energized ambition. This is an amazing human characteristic. If you take a minute, you will see you have it within you, and you use it daily. Flexibility is a given that we ‘go with the flow’ and try to help others when they too are in need. So much of this was good energy during a dark period in our lives month after month that I think each of us who understand this and live it should be given a great big hug!

Being more in tune with yourself, slowing down the frantic pace, grieving the loss of loved ones you weren’t able to visit, and feeling lonely but finding yourself and the ability to provide your comfort were all outstanding achievements we experienced in 2020. Throughout this period, some of you who were journaling can look back and track your growth and see the value of documenting your journey.

I have high hopes for 2021; a new president, a new vaccine, an opportunity to avoid situations I don’t want to be involved in, and choosing whom I will interact with socially. All this would never cross my mind before the lessons learned through the pandemic. It all excites me. I believe the best acronym I’ve learned through all of this is “RAIN”:
R: recognize your feeling of discomfort with a situation
A: acknowledge the feeling and where it hits you in your body
I: investigate your feelings —where do they come from, are they accurate? Are the causes something I can control or change? Do you buy into it? Are the feelings affirming?
N: nurture yourself, take care of yourself, put yourself first, and sit silently and listen to what yourself is calling for regarding the situation and then take action.

I wish you all a health-filled, prosperous, loving, and kind journey into 2021. The new year will bringill hold-ups and downs. You have the tools to respond and not lose yourself. Be your best. Be kind. Be you.

Namaste.